微笑的勇气

I have been feeling unwell the whole day.
attend school only half day.
no strength to do anything, no energy to even talk.
just like a zombie in the daylight :P

until night time, after a nice bath, i then feel refresh :D
actually, i want to say here is anyone know medical?
though i study medical science but, i am helpless at easing the pain of my hand.
sob sob ):
left hand is not obeying to me, it hurts, it hurts so much.

i think i am kind of blur in taking good care of myself. derh!!
and i am 18 years old now!!
haha.i guess i am good at only torturing myself??
anyway i will be fine after all, cause i am.....

endure and endure and endure
life is about endure?
i need to learn how to endure the feeling
(tired, sad, angry, disappointed, cry and more)
so that i can become stronger, be independent like who i am last time.
; a cheerful and strong girl??
there are times that i could not deny that i am at lost.
i am lost in things that i put in effort in
(hand pain..grrr)

actually i have poor memory, thus happening in my life was written in blog,
what if one day, i could not remember anything,blog would be the best way for me to recall.
(true ?)

my memories are shallow. deep in my heart, what was my thoughts?
i do not understand myself sometimes.